


Supreme Trouble

by Eighth_Notes, SilverStorm0



Series: A Collection of Things the Ultimate Students Do While Attending Hope's Peak Academy [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Gen, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Rated teen for some of the humor, We try to be funny, We try to keep everybody in character, it's like half chatfic half 3rd person, part chatfic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25835743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eighth_Notes/pseuds/Eighth_Notes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverStorm0/pseuds/SilverStorm0
Summary: The day started the same as any other. In fact, it was almost peaceful in comparison to the chaotic mornings that Kaede and the rest of her class had grown used to. Perhaps she should have taken this peacefulness as the calm before the storm and just went back to bed after breakfast.But she didn’t, and so she personally got to witness all hell breaking loose.(This is a short story to go along with chapter nine of the ficA List of Things That Kokichi Oma Is No Longer Allowed to Do While Attending Hope's Peak Academy.Reading that isn’t necessary, but does give some context.)
Relationships: platonic relationships are underrated, we wrote it be kind of vague, you can read into it if you want though
Series: A Collection of Things the Ultimate Students Do While Attending Hope's Peak Academy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1425463
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	1. Cool Morning

It was a regular Saturday morning breakfast for the members of Hope’s Peak Academy class 79. Like most days, Kaede and Kirumi were the first ones awake. Kirumi because she insisted on making everybody breakfast, and Kaede because Kirumi didn’t deserve to deal with their classmates all on her own every morning.

That and the fact that being an aspiring professional musician has a way of drilling punctuality into one’s head, and Kaede was no exception.

And after most of the class had gathered, an entirely petty (albeit oddly engaging) argument couldn’t help but begin, though the morning was still a bit calmer than usual. 

“Whaddaya _mean_ you can’t make working cosplay props?” Miu asked, apparently very concerned by this recent revelation.

“Well, most conventions don’t exactly allow actual weaponry or anything like that,” Tsumugi replied with a faint frown.

“That’s _weak,_ though _._ Aren’t ya always going on about living in another world or whatever? How the hell are you supposed to do that with soft fuckin’ foam swords?” Miu insisted, forcefully stabbing the last of her pancakes.

“Some fictional weapons are just plain impossible to recreate, so… Imagination?” Tsumugi offered.

“Who the hell needs imagination when you can have the real thing? Everybody knows it feels better that way!” Miu cackled at her own dirty joke.

Tsumugi paused.

“...Miu, do you just want to try and make a lightsaber?”

“Eh!? The fuck does it matter if I do?” Miu said.

“Woah, Miu’s gonna build a lightsaber!?” Kokichi--because _of course_ it was him--butted into the conversation, apparently having only just bothered to join the others for breakfast. “That’s so cool!”

“Oh piss off,” Miu said, before he could continue talking. “Like I’d trust _you_ to get anywhere near something like that, even if I did.”

“Aww…” Kokichi looked emotionally crushed for about five seconds before smiling. “Oh, but I bet you’re only saying that ‘cause you can’t actually make a real lightsaber, huh? I guess that even the expertise of the Ultimate Inventor has its limits.”

Miu stood up, the remainder of her breakfast forgotten.

“What the _fuck_ did you just say about me, you little bitch?”

* * *

An hour or so later, Kaede sat down at the piano in the music lab, glad to have narrowly escaped an undoubtedly long debate over whether or not it’s actually possible to create a real lightsaber. She pulled out her music folder and paged through it, intent on getting at least some practice in on the weekend, and ended up deciding on [ Liszt’s La Campanella ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1Dvg2MxQn8)\--a very difficult song that required a lot of technique.

She went through a short routine of stretches before starting to warm up with a few arpeggios and scales.

Only when her finger hit a key, instead of the warm, reverberating sound of the instrument she loved so much, she was met with a soft _whunk._ She had the fleeting thought that the string might have snapped overnight, but the same sound applied to every single key that she tested on the keyboard.

_...oh no._

Kaede only had to open the top of the baby grand piano to confirm what she had suspected. Dental floss was once again in place of the piano’s strings.

_Goddammit._

She packed up her things and pulled out her phone, maneuvering to the document she kept the list on, intent on making an entry there and then--

#501. Thwis wist iws gwettwing swupew bwowing woo gwuys. Wet's hawe mwowe fwun. OWO >;3c ψ(｀∇´)ψ

“Whatever you’re planning, _stop,_ ” Kaede muttered to herself as she replied to the barely legible, demonic owo-speak in an addendum. Not that she thought it would actually _do_ anything, but she could at least try.

But before she could put her phone away, it buzzed with an alert for a text.

**Shuichi:** Somebody replaced all of the fingerprinting kits in the criminology lab with makeup supplies

**Shuichi:** Kyoko seems pretty irritated

**Kaede:** It was definitely Kokichi.

Kaede felt a little guilty about leaving such a short reply, but she had other, equally important matters to attend to. She put her backpack on and left the music lab, intent on making her way to the office.

On a whim, she opened the document back up to add the reminder rule, then paused. A sense of dread settled in her chest as she read and reread Kokichi’s response.

#501. Thwis wist iws gwettwing swupew bwowing woo gwuys. Wet's hawe mwowe fwun. OWO >;3c ψ(｀∇´)ψ

>Whatever you’re planning, _stop._

>Tooooooo late! Ψ(☆ｗ☆)Ψ

“Please look out!” A voice called, and Kaede barely had time to look up and move out of the way as a familiar white robot rounded the corner, clumsily coming to a standstill.

“Usami?! What’s wrong?” Kaede asked, before realizing that the bunny was practically in hysterics.

_“Somafoieneidwibfeiniwadianfnksd!!!!!!!!!”_

“Calm down! Speak slower, I can’t understand you.”

_“S-Somebody broke into Monokuma’s office while he was charging and drew all over his white half with permanent marker and he’s very very angry and I’m going to go hide before he takes his anger out on meee!”_

The feeling of dread intensified and drifted down to the pit of Kaede’s stomach. “I… Thank you for telling me that. Good luck finding a place to hide, Usami.”

_“Thank youuuuu!”_ Usami sprinted away, and Kaede ducked into an empty classroom to pull out her phone, no longer feeling entirely safe in the hallway. She opened the group chat her class shared, only to find that it had blown up with messages during the short conversation between her and Usami.

**Tsumugi:** omg keebo just walked out into the common room all sparkling and stuff :O

**Korekiyo:** I just witnessed Angie running by with cans of spray paint, containers of glitter, and a hot glue gun. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

**Rantaro:** hepl miu kidnapd me

**Rantaro:** shes drunk agn nd wont let goof me

**Rantaro:** als smels lik weed

**Angie:** I will create a wonderful masterpiece worthy of Atua’s blessings~!

**Maki:** The roombas are out of storage and they’re everywhere

**Kirumi:** There are once again rubber ducks in the refrigerator.

**K1-B0:** Could somebody please help me clean up all this glitter?

**Tenko:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Himiko:** kokichi wrote on my playing cards again...

**Kaito:** WHY ARE HALF MY SHIRTS DYED NEON ORANGE

**Tenko:** That little DEGENERATE MALE exploded a 2-liter of soda in my room!

**Shuichi:** Angie, where did you get those?

**Angie:** Kokichi gave them to me!

**Kirumi:** There are rubber ducks in the cabinets, too.

**Shuichi:** Of course

**Ryoma:** time to stay in my dorm all day.

**K1-B0:** Is now the time to mention that all the erasers seem to have disappeared?

**Miu:** AHAHWUHAUHL ETS FUFHAUHING GO YIU MOINTHERR FBUNKCERSS

Kaede was about to reply when the loudspeakers blared to life, blasting several wildly different songs at once. 

**Kaede:** Has anybody actually seen Kokichi since breakfast?

**Himiko:** he got to the loudspeakers too???

**Maki:** If I catch him I will kill him

**Shuichi:** I think he went with Miu to the science and technology lab after breakfast

**Kaede:** That sounds about right. I just ran into Usami. I think Kokichi drew on Monokuma in permanent marker.

**Maki:** Nevermind he’s dug his own grave

**Angie:** I saw him a little while ago when he gave me these art supplies~!

**Tsumugi:** what exactly did he give you?

**Angie:** Well~ Cans of spray paint, a hot glue gun, glitter~

**Angie:** And a lighter~!

**Kirumi:** The desks have been spray painted again.

**Kaede:** DO NOT USE THE LIGHTER

**Angie** : I could make a flamethrower~

**Angie** : Fumage art and fire painting are valid forms of art, you know!

**Korekiyo** : Humanity is truly beautiful.

**Kirumi:** Also, there is a large countdown timer superglued to the classroom wall.

**Shuichi:** Angie _no_

**Maki:** I’ll go find her before she burns down the school

**Kaede:** Thank you Maki.

Kaede’s phone buzzed. Then it buzzed again, and didn’t stop. When she finally checked it, the school-wide notification system had exploded with embarrassing picture after embarrassing picture, all from a somehow anonymous account. There didn’t seem to be a single target, and there only seemed to be a single flood of pictures, which was… something, at least.

She opened the group chat again.

**Tenko:** WHO IS SENDING THESE PHOTOS?

**Himiko:** who else but kokichi would even have all of them…?

**Shuichi:** I think he did something to the pool. Aoi just ran past yelling something about jell-o

**Ryoma:** the music on the loudspeakers is starting to get grating.

**Kaede:** This is not how I expected today to go.

**Kokichi:** hey hey hEY (⊙ꇴ⊙)

**Kokichi:** how’z everyone likin’ the gifts I gotchu all ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

There was a moment of almost complete stillness on the group chat following Kokichi’s purposefully-obnoxious texts, the only movement being the little icon that meant multiple people were typing. Then a torrent of responses.

**Kaito:** YOU LITTLE SHIT

**Tenko:** GET OVER HERE SO I CAN THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW YOU D E G E N E R A T E M A L E

**Kokichi:** wow you guys are soooooooo mEAN i’m gonna CRY ╥﹏╥

**Himiko:** you better pay for the cards you ruined… 

**K1-B0:** Now is not the time to try and garner sympathy, Kokichi.

**Kirumi:** I fully expect you will be assisting in the cleanup for your messes.

**Tsumugi:** whoa, Keebo! you’re starting to read the room!!!

**Rantaro:** whby wuld u give miu boze adn wweed att he smae time

**K1-B0:** I cannot tell if that is a genuine compliment or a robophobic remark.

**Ryoma:** you didn’t even have the decency to let me ignore all this nonsense.

It was then that Kaede heard a sound that could only be a string of literal explosions. Granted, they were small ones, only around the same volume as a firecracker, but they were still explosions nonetheless. Ones that sounded like they came from the upper floors.

She booked it up the stairs― Only to be met with the sight of two of the students from class 77. One of them, a pink-haired guy--Kazuichi, maybe? His last name was definitely Soda--who was ungracefully blubbering, and Chiaki, the representative for her class, who looked somewhat confused but otherwise just about as indifferent as always.

It took Kaede a minute to register the fact that the floor of the hallway was covered in some kind of weird, black, oily-looking substance that smelled like… _shoe polish?_

She let out an audible groan, drawing their, or at least Chiaki’s, attention to her as she pinched the bridge of her nose, already starting to feel the oncoming headache only partially caused by the smell in the air.

“Hey Kaede,” Chiaki greeted her, while Soda blubbered in the background. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“Unfortunately,” Kaede sighed. “You know about Kokichi, right? The guy in my class who really likes getting into trouble--the one who goaded Fuyuhiko into punching him?”

“Oh,” Chiaki said, concisely.

“Yeah. Him. I’m pretty sure that, for _whatever reason,_ he decided to pull out all the stops today.”

“So then you’re trying to stop him?”

“That’s right. The only problem is that he disappeared right before all this started happening.”

“Alright.” Chiaki took out her phone. “I’ll tell my class to keep a lookout, you tell Sayaka.”

“Will do.” Kaede pulled out her phone as well, opening up the group chat made specifically for class reps.

**Kaede:** Sayaka, can you tell your class to be on the lookout for Kokichi? He’s being a real pain in the ass today.

**Sayaka:** How bad?

**Kaede:** He rigged some kind of explosive in the third floor hallway to cover the ground in shoe polish.

**Kaede:** Also he’s responsible for playing that godawful music over the loudspeakers.

**Kaede:** Among other things.

**Sayaka:** Oh

**Kaede:** Yeah, that’s what Chiaki said too.

**Sayaka:** I’ll warn my class and see if anybody’s willing to help.

**Kaede:** That’s all I could ask of you, thanks.

“So what are you planning to do next?” Chiaki asked, after Kaede put her phone away.

“I think…” she paused. What _would_ be the best way to track down somebody who’s notoriously good at hiding? “Have everybody who wants to help go to the gym. We’ll figure out what to do from there.”

“Right.” Chiaki nodded.

Kaede once again texted Sayaka to let her know what was going on, but wasn’t able to put her phone away before she got yet another string of notifications from her class’s group chat.

**Tsumugi:** ABKKAJSKJKJKIJKJIKLJL KOKICHI REPLACED MY SEWING SCISSORS WITH THOSE PLASTIC TOY ONES THAT DON’T EVEN CUT PAPER IM GONNA CRY

**Tsumugi:** HE BETTER RETURN THEM THEY WERE MY GRANDMAS

**Kokichi:** lmao chill i’ll return all the stuff i stole don’t worrry （´υ｀）

**Maki:** You better

**Korekiyo:** “All the stuff” you stole?

**Maki:** Also I took the lighter from Angie

**Kokichi:** ;)

**Angie:** Atua is disappointed in your lack of faith, Maki :(

**Rantaro:** oh god miu has an actual lightsaber now

**Rantaro:** bbl I need to run away

**Kirumi:** The countdown timer reached zero and now there is confetti everywhere.

**Kaede:** If anybody has any information on where the heck Kokichi is, or anything important to add, DM me because I’m muting the chat.

**Kaede:** Also if you want to help actively look for him, go to the gym.

In an effort to retain at least some of her sanity, Kaede muted the notifications from that group chat and dismissed the school announcements. She could do without reminders of all the stupid stuff Kokichi had caught not only everyone in their class doing, but other students as well. Part of her wondered how he’d gotten his hands on that much pseudo-blackmail, but decided that, at least for the moment, it was better not to question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After some discussion, we’ve decided to use the ultra talent development plan as a sort of basis for this fic/series/whatever you want to call it. However, the different classes will still be referred to by number (class 77/78/79) in order to differentiate them.


	2. Searching

Fortunately, by the time everybody who wanted to help had gathered in the gym the hellish music playing over the school’s loudspeaker system had been stopped.

Unfortunately, there were only a handful of people willing to actively search, though that was honestly more than Kaede had anticipated.

Specifically, Kyoko, Aoi, Sakura, and Makoto from class 78, Nagito from class 77, and Shuichi, Tenko, and K1-B0 from class 79 were gathered.

“Thank you all for helping,” Kaede said, and she was met with a round of ‘don’t worry about it’-s and ‘it’s not a problem’-s.

“Alright, so,” she continued. “We need to figure out how exactly we’re going to do this. We can either search individually, or split up into groups.”

“Searching individually would be the most efficient option,” K1-B0 said.

“That’s true,” Makoto agreed. “We’d be able to search the school more quickly.”

“Yeah! That degenerate would have less places to hide!” Tenko said, though it was more of a shout.

“I’m not sure if that would be a good idea, though,” Shuichi put in.

“Why is that?” Sakura asked.

“Well, knowing Kokichi, if we search by ourselves there’s no guarantee we’d be able to catch him even if we did find him,” he explained. “There’s no way that Kokichi wouldn’t anticipate people searching for him after something like this.”

“There’s no way he could outrun my Neo-Aikido!” Tenko insisted.

“...Tenko, I’ve seen him get away from you before,” K1-B0 said a bit flatly.

Tenko simply fell silent and gave K1-B0 one of her intensely condescending looks.

“I agree with Shuichi,” Kyoko said, bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand. “If we work in groups we’ll have a better chance of success.”

“If the two Ultimate Detectives think that splitting up in groups is a good idea, then it must be,” Nagito chimed in.

Some of the other students in the gym silently wondered why Nagito was even here to begin with, not that it would do much good to ask.

“...okay, then. Any objections?” Kaede asked.

There were none, so she continued speaking.

“In that case… Aoi, Sakura, you two can be a team.”

“I’ll go with them!” Tenko volunteered, striking an aggressive pose.

“I think it would be best if I went with them, actually,” Kyoko spoke over Tenko's objections. “We’d be most useful investigating the extent of these pranks.”

“Really? Why?” Shuichi asked.

“You’re actually classmates with Kokichi. Finding out where he is would best be left to those who are most familiar with what he’s like,” Kyoko responded.

Of course, she was right.

“Let’s split up into groups of three, then,” Kaede amended, one of her hands idly playing with some of her hair as she thought. “How about… Shuichi, Tenko, and Keebo--you three can go ask around to see if anybody’s seen Kokichi recently. Makoto and Nagito, you two can come with me. We can walk around and see if we get lucky. How does that sound, everyone?”

“I _guess_ it’s fine,” Tenko huffed. “I’d rather not work with any males, but at least Shuichi and Keebo are tolerable.”

Everybody else agreed, and after setting up a temporary group chat the searching students broke into groups and left the gym.

* * *

A few hours later after questioning people, finding no results, and taking a short break to eat lunch, Shuichi, Tenko, and K1-B0 made their way to the leadership-type ultimate talent lab.

Not that that would do them much good on its own--talent labs were normally closed off to the students who shouldn’t be there, and that was especially so for the leadership lab, where the students there might be handling potentially sensitive information.

It was still worth it to try, though, and that attempt paid off because they ran into Sonia in the hallway.

“E-Excuse me! Sonia!” Tenko said, quite loudly. 

“Hm?” Sonia turned around. “Oh, good afternoon!”

As she walked over to the three, Tenko very obviously grew increasingly flustered and mildly panicked until the Ultimate Princess stood next to them.

“Good afternoon,” Shuichi said. “This is a little blunt, but, have you seen Kokichi at all today?”

“Yes, I have. Why?” As soon as Sonia asked that question, a look of realization crossed over her face. “Actually, he set off all those pranks this morning, did he not?”

“It was definitely him,” K1-B0 said, mildly exasperated.

“Could you tell us what you remember from when you saw him?” Shuichi asked.

“Of course!” Sonia said, then began her explanation. “I saw Kokichi this morning, actually. I was on my way to the leadership lab, and I passed by him as he was leaving. I did not think that it was important, as it was before everything started.”

“I see…” Shuichi said, raising a hand to his chin. “Did you talk to him at all?”

“Yes. He asked me if I was planning on being there for a while, and I said that I was. I asked _him_ if he was planning on returning to the leadership lab today. He said that he was, but I have not seen him since then.”

“Are you positive he wasn’t lying about returning to the lab, or that you didn’t just miss him?” K1-B0 asked.

“Mostly!” Sonia struck a Rosie-the-Riveter-style pose. “That, and my workstation is directly across from the door. I never left, so I would have seen anybody entering the lab.”

“And you didn’t notice anything else unusual?” Shuichi asked.

“I did not,” Sonia said. “I hope that is not a problem?”

“...no, it shouldn’t be,” Shuichi said, then smiled. “That was very informative, actually. Thank you.”

“You are welcome! I wish you luck on your quest!” Sonia said, then continued on her way down the hallway.

“So did you figure anything out, Shuichi?” K1-B0 said.

“Yeah! Where’d that little degenerate go!?” Tenko demanded enthusiastically.

“Give me a minute to think about it,” Shuichi said, both amused and a little exasperated.

“Let’s see…” Shuichi held his hand up to his mouth in a gesture that his classmates affectionately referred to as his 'detective pose.'

Nothing that Sonia had said was unusual on the surface--it was like Kokichi to be kind of flaky, or to lie about his intentions just because--but something about it bothered Shuichi.

In particular, it was pretty strange that there didn’t seem to be a _single person_ who had seen Kokichi since that morning. Not that he wasn’t clever enough to avoid being seen, but… he was the kind of person to immediately demand attention whenever he walked into a room.

In short, it was odd that he’d _want_ to stay that hidden, at least for this long.

Unless, of course, he was going to set off other pranks, but there hadn’t been any sign of that, either.

If that was the case, then, did something happen?

They’d assumed that Kokichi was running around trying to avoid people, but…

Was that really true?

“...Let’s head back to the gym,” Shuichi said. “I want to check something.”


	3. Wonderful Story

Kaede leaned against the wall, sighing. She, Makoto, and Nagito had looped back around to the gym after doing a loose sweep of the school, having turned up exactly nothing.

The day had been a very long one, all things considered, and she was considering giving up. Kokichi would have to show himself at _some_ point, after all. And if the moods of her classmates were anything to go by, she wasn’t the only one running out of patience.

“How difficult can it be to find one person?” Makoto asked.

“It’s Kokichi,” Kaede deadpanned. “He might be a serial liar, but at this point he could say he was halfway to the moon and I wouldn’t immediately discount it.”

“Ultimates really are incredible,” Nagito said. “I just hope you have use for scum like me.”

At that, Kaede and Makoto shared a _look_.

“You… _do_ know that you’re an Ultimate too, right?” Makoto asked.

Nagito shook his head sadly. “My talent is nothing compared to the two of you.”

Makoto frowned. “...we have the same talent, though.”

“...anyway,” Kaede said, interrupting the conversation before it had a chance to derail into Makoto fruitlessly attempting to convince Nagito that he was not, in fact, human garbage (a feedback loop that could allegedly go on for literal hours, and that Kaede had somehow managed to prevent thus far). “You guys can go ahead on your own. I’ll catch up to you.”

“Are you sure?” Makoto asked.

“I’m sure. I just need to take a break from walking around for a little bit.”

“Alright. Let me know when you’re ready to start looking again.”

“Of course,” Kaede said.

And with that, the two Ultimate Lucky Students left the gymnasium.

Kaede, true to her word, only rested for a couple of minutes--just long enough to appreciate the relative quiet in the gym. After that, she got up to leave.

But just as she was leaving, her phone buzzed with a text for the upteenth time that day, this time a DM.

**Kokichi:** i exist to sow chaos

**Kaede:** What do you want?

**Kokichi:** you guys are soooooo dumb i cant

**Kaede:** Excuse me?

**Kokichi:** evry1 running around like chickens was hilarious for like the first 10 mins but im gettin bored

**Kaede:** It’s been _hours._

**Kokichi:** but srsly you have no clue where i am do u

**Kokichi:** im dissappoint ( p^q)

**Kaede:** We’re getting close to figuring it out!

**Kokichi:** bet

Kokichi then sent a picture. Specifically one of Kaede, Makoto, and Nagito inside the gym, that looked like it had been taken from a more-or-less high-up angle.

Kaede turned on a dime, having stopped just short of the doorway of the gym. _“Seriously?!”_ she shouted.

Just as the picture had implied, Kokichi was up in the rafters in the middle of the ceiling, having started laughing almost as soon as Kaede turned around.

_“Oh my gosh that was hILARIOUS.”_

“I can’t believe you.”

“I can believe me! But that’s a lie.”

“How long have you been here?”

“I snuck into the gym and climbed up here while you and the leprechauns were talking, aaaall without you noticing!” Kokichi swung his legs back and forth -- either oblivious to or not caring about how high up he was -- and grinned. “Nah, I lied again. I’ve been up here pretty much the entire time. I almost blew my cover earlier when you guys met up to discuss how you were gonna search for me. You have _no_ idea how hard it was not to laugh, nobody ever looks _up_ when they’re searching for things.”

“Just… get down from there,” Kaede said, with a deep-seated tiredness that only aimlessly running around on a wild goose chase could cause.

“Ahaha, yeeeeeah, about that…” Kokichi’s insincere grin was replaced by a smaller smile that was probably the closest thing to genuine embarrassment that Kaede had ever seen (or, she figured, ever _would_ see) from him. “Turns out, I got up here just fine, but I can’t actually figure out how to get _down._ At least, not without getting hurt. And, y’know, it’d kiiiiinda suck if that happened.”

“That had better not be a lie.”

“If it was a lie, I’d have gone and hid somewhere else to watch people’s reactions and stuff! It’s not like any of you nerds are smart enough to catch me if you did see me, anyway.”

“And stuff?” Kaede deadpanned.

“Yeah. I was gonna set off a bunch of other pranks, but since I got stuck up here, I-I couldn’t…” Kokichi looked down to the side with a pitifully sad expression that might have worked on somebody who wasn’t already painfully aware of his personality.

“You were seriously going to cause _even more_ trouble?”

“Actually, no. That was a lie,” he said, taking on a more matter-of-fact tone. “I was planning on doing something _else_ while you guys were distracted, but I got stuck up here and missed my chance. So, I guess all this was for nothing.”

“Something else?”

“It’s a secret to everybody!”

Kaede paused to take a deep breath, not that it helped any, and decided that pressing the issue would be pointless, but she was interrupted before she could change the subject herself.

“So, are you gonna ask for help or whatever? At this point being stuck up here is super boring, and you didn’t exactly bring a ladder or anything,” Kokichi said, and Kaede had half a mind to just walk out and leave him up there instead. “I’m in real hot water, huh? Somebody’s probably gonna grab me as soon as I get down.”

“Yes, and rambling about it isn’t going to help you.” Kaede took out her phone, sending off a quick text to the temporary group chat--that Kokichi had been found, that he was (somehow) stuck in the gym’s rafters, and to please send help so they could get this over with.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Kokichi said dismissively. “Y’know, Headmaster Kirigiri and Monokuma and Usami are probably gonna yell at me for like the rest of the day. D’you think they’ll set some kinda record?”

“Before or after the rest of our classmates get through with you?” she said absently, glancing up from her phone just long enough to see his expression go from playfully curious to an exaggerated combination of shocked and scared.

A buzz as Kyoko texted back, saying that she, Sakura, and Aoi were on their way.

_“...Kaede I’m too pretty to die.”_

“At this point, I don’t care.”

“You’re s-so _mean,”_ he whined, undoubtedly fake tears starting to build up. _“I can’t believe you hate me tHAT much.”_

She sighed and looked up at Kokichi. “Believe it or not, I don’t _hate_ you. I’m just _incredibly done_ with how annoying you constantly insist on being. There’s a difference.”

“Wow, you’re _weird,”_ he said, dropping the waterworks entirely.

“Not as weird as _you.”_

“Eh, that’s fair.”

“Anyway…” Kaede held up her phone and snapped a photo of Kokichi. “I think everybody will be glad to know I found you.”

_“...did you just take a picture.”_ It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement.

As a reply, Kaede just smiled sweetly and sent the picture, both to their class’s group chat and to a couple of others for good measure (and to inform everybody that the search was over). Kokichi leaned back, presumably for better balance, as he pulled out his own phone.

**Kaede:** I found him.

**Kaede:** [I-found-Kokichi-guys.img]

**Kaede:** It turns out the true talent of the Ultimate Supreme Leader is getting stuck in the gymnasium rafters.

**Tsumugi:** omfg Kaede did you just meme

**Kaede:** Apparently he’s been up there almost the entire time.

**Shuichi:** I knew it

**Shuichi:** Keebo, Tenko, and I were just headed to the gym

**Kaede:** Don’t bother, I'm going to bring him up to the common room.

**Tsumugi:** wait 

**Kaede:** Then I'm going to Mikan for Aspirin and locking myself in my room.

**Tsumugi:** shuichi how did you figure that out???

Then Kokichi put his phone away and immediately began to melodramatically cry and start going on about how he can’t _believe_ that Kaede would _do_ something like _that_ and that she’s just _the worst_ person.

Kaede sighed, rubbing at her temples in an ill-fated attempt to soothe her growing migraine, then looked back up and said something she’d been wanting to for most of the day.

_“Shut up,_ Kokichi.”

And much to her surprise (and relief), he actually did.

* * *

It wasn't long before Sakura, along with Kyoko and Aoi, arrived at the gymnasium with a ladder. Kaede pointed to where Kokichi was lounging in the rafters, and Aoi let out a whistle.

“He was really up there the entire time?” the Ultimate Swimmer asked, mostly curious, though there was still a bit of anger in her tone.

“You'd better believe it!” Kokichi called down. The girls ignored him.

“Apparently,” Kaede snorted.

“How did he get up there?” Sakura wondered.

“He hasn’t told me yet, and I don’t particularly want to know,” the Ultimate Pianist said tersely, then sighed. “Sorry, sorry. I’m not meaning to snap. Today’s just been… you know.”

“I’ve had tons of practice climbing trees and stuff! It's a _great_ way to get away from people who are mad at me!” Kokichi said, helpfully.

“It’s fine.” Aoi placed a reassuring hand on Kaede’s shoulder. “I can’t imagine what it’s like actually being in his class.”

“Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!”

“Tiring,” Kaede gave them a small, if somewhat strained, smile. “I’ll be fine later, so don’t worry about it.”

“Please, I’m not _that_ bad.”

Sakura looked up, examining where Kokichi was sitting on the rafters.

“Move over to the bleachers,” she instructed him. Surprisingly, Kokichi did so without complaint, easily moving from the rafters in the center of the room to the ones at the far side, while Sakura carried the ladder up the corresponding set of bleachers. She set it against the wall, with Aoi and Kyoko stabilizing the base as she scaled it.

Once she was up the ladder, she picked Kokichi up by the back of the shirt. Again without putting up a fight, aside from him wanting a reassurance that his clothes wouldn't be torn.

Sakura set Kokichi down, then stepped off the ladder to stand next to him, and the four students on the bleachers rejoined Kaede on the actual floor of the gymnasium.

“Man, it’s times like this that I feel really short, y’know?” Kokichi asked, rhetorically.

He was met with a round of unamused stares.

“What? Am I not allowed to lament the fact that I’m shorter than a bunch of girls?” he said, despite being in no position to make a crack like that (and likely knowing full well that he wasn’t, if his shit-eating grin was anything to go by).

There was a beat of silence, and then Kyoko pulled an extra glove out of her pocket and slapped Kokichi across the face with it.

“That was for the criminology lab, among other things,” she stoically informed the uncharacteristically startled Ultimate Supreme Leader. “I’m sure that others will give you a dressing down for everything else you pulled today.”

“Dressing down? Wow, Kyoko, you must have a--” Kokichi spoke without missing a beat, until the Ultimate Detective shot him a glare, holding up the glove threateningly, _“--ahaha nneeevermiiind.”_

“Kokichi, you saying things like that is why people keep threatening you with physical violence,” Kaede said, resting a hand on her hip as she scolded him.

“Aww, but messing with people is _fun,_ though! I can’t help it!” he protested, then immediately backtracked before she could respond. “But that’s just a lie, I could totally quit if I wanted to!”

“Likely story,” Kaede said, flatly. “Now come on.”

With that, she grabbed Kokichi’s wrist and started pulling him towards the exit. “Just be glad that our classmates are as collectively used to your idea of humor as they are, or else you’d be _really_ screwed.”

“Hey, it wasn’t _that_ bad! It’s not like I did anything to _everyone.”_

“What about the embarrassing photos?”

“I didn’t target anybody specifically this time!”

“And that makes it better how?”

“It’s less embarrassing if it’s everyone being embarrassed _together!_ It’s like teamwork or something!”

“You do know that that’s not how teamwork works, right?”

“I demand to know where I'm being taken!” Kokichi abruptly changed the subject and struggled halfheartedly against her grip.

“Your trial by peers. Don’t worry, they won’t go too far.”

“They better not or else I'll cry for real. And _no one_ can resist being nice to me when they see my genuine tears! But that's a lie. It's actually my puppy dog eyes that always get to people.”

Kaede stopped walking and glared back at her classmate. “You do realize that the more you talk, the deeper you dig yourself, right?” 

_“Okay,_ okay. You don't have to glare at me like that, sheesh,” he huffed. “And you don’t have to manhandle me, either. I’m already caught, so it’s not like there’s any point in running away now.”

“Give me one good reason why I should believe that.”

_“Because.”_ Kokichi rolled his eyes like Kaede was missing something incredibly obvious. “It’s like playing hide-and-seek! You found where I was hiding, even though you were being stupid and needed a hint. It kinda ruins the fun of hiding in the first place if I try to run off after I already lost.”

* * *

As Kaede bodily dragged Kokichi out of the gymnasium the three other students there watched in various kinds of silence.

“Is Kokichi _always_ like that?” Aoi wondered aloud.

“From what Shuichi has said on the matter,” Kyoko responded, “yes.”

Aoi shivered. “He’s somehow even worse than _Byakuya_.”

“That only serves to make Kaede's actions even more impressive,” Sakura noted.

“What do you mean?” Aoi asked.

“You've seen how Kaede consistently handles the fallout of these kinds of pranks?” Sakura paused, and the Ultimate Swimmer nodded. “Even as class representative, she's going above and beyond to take responsibility for her classmate's actions. She must be exhausted, and is likely the one who most deserves retribution against Kokichi.”

“But she won't take it out on him,” Aoi realized.

“Exactly,” Sakura nodded. “The most she's done is make sardonic comments and dragged him off, and her classmates themselves are likely to do little more than scare him.”

“Add to that the fact that they’ve been dealing with him since day one and you approach the truth,” Kyoko weighed in, then waved and took her leave.

Sakura picked up the ladder she'd brought. “I need to return this to the janitor. Are you coming with me, Hina?”

“Huh?” Aoi blinked. “Oh, right. Yeah, I'm coming.”

* * *

With a bottle of water and Aspirin in hand, Kaede stepped into the calm of her room. It was mercifully silent, the announcement system finally having been shut off. Taking a moment to make sure the door was locked, she flicked the lights off on the way past and set the water and medicine on the bedside table -- right next to a vase of flowers that surely hadn't been there that morning.

Kaede collapsed backwards onto her bed, sighing, taking in the cool feel of her covers. She laid there for a while, not really wanting to do anything, until her incessant headache got the better of her.

With a groan, she rolled onto her side so she could reach the bedside table. Frowning, she realized she wouldn’t be able to drink while she was still laying down, and had to put even more effort into sitting up.

Swallowing a couple tablets and finishing the entire water bottle, she waited until her head stopped pounding to do anything else.

Eventually, she realized that there was something else new as well. Sitting on the table was a CD case, half hidden by the vase. She squinted closer at the seemingly innocuous square of plastic, not really comprehending the upside-down and sideways playlist. When she did, she blinked in surprise, not trusting the pieces listed there, then reached out and carefully flipped it over.

On the back were a few sticky notes, with a message scratched out across them in obnoxiously purple ink:

_“Haha! Bet you're tired from running around all day Kayayday, huh? I mean, I know I can be a total pain in the ass and all, but I’m secretly only like, 70% lies, and you’re not so bad for putting up with it all. So I figured you’d want to listen to some gross classical music or whatever._

_But if you EVER tell anybody ever I said that I will recreate today but 100x worse, so don’t even think about it, okay?_

_But who knows! That might be a lie!”_

With a half-laugh, half-shudder, Kaede took pictures of the notes. Just in case. It wasn’t often anyone got good blackmail on Kokichi, or really any indication that he was anything other than a concentrated nightmare-in-human-form, and even exhausted and sleepy she wasn’t going to pass it up.

Not that it would be used, much. He probably knew that too.

Still, a small smile raised the corners of her lips as she put the CD in her player, and the soothing tones of a [ beautiful piece ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WfaotSK3mI) filled the room, sung by the strings of a grand piano.

It wasn’t long before she was lulled into a peaceful sleep.


	4. Beautiful Lie

Class 79’s group chat, the next day:

**Miu:** i can’t believe that kokichi actually fucking died yesterday

**Tsumugi:** ikr smh

**Rantaro:** so tragic

**Himiko:** he was so young too…

**Kokichi:** what

**Tenko:** That degenerate male deserved what he got!

**Korekiyo:** It is rude to disrespect the dead, Tenko.

**Kokichi:** wait what

**Kirumi:** Perhaps we should begin preparing for the funeral.

**Angie:** I shall pray to Atua for Kokichi’s safe passage

**Miu:** would that annoying little fuck even be going to heaven?

**Maki:** He’d definitely go straight to hell

**Kokichi:** gUYS

**Kokichi:** if any of us is going to hell itd dEFINITELY b miu u cant even argue

**Kokichi:** also im not dead yet wtf???

**Kaito:** I just hope he doesn’t decide to haunt us

**Kaede:** Knowing him, even if he did, he’d probably get bored of it fast.

**Tsumugi:** either way he’s gone to join the choir invisible

**Kokichi:** KAEDE UR SUPPOSED TO BE RESPONSIBLE T^T

**Kokichi:** also id definitely haunt you guys if i died

**K1-B0:** Yes, it was truly an unexpected tragedy.

**Kokichi:** ofc the robot goes along with it wow （￣ー￣；

**K1-B0:** I will not miss his robophobic remarks.

**Gonta:** Gonta confused. Kokichi not dead?

**Kokichi:** THANK YOU

**Ryoma:** just go along with it. we’re pretending he’s dead and ignoring him for now because of the trouble he caused yesterday.

**Gonta:** Trouble?

**Tsumugi:** yesterday morning he set off a bunch of pranks all at once! It was just plain terrible!

**Gonta:** Oh! Okay! Gonta was out in greenhouse with bugs then, so Gonta not notice.

**Gonta:** Gonta would be very sad if Kokichi or other friends died. :(

**Tsumugi:** Gonta you’re so pURE omg

**Kokichi:** AT LEAST GONTAS SINCERE ABOUT IT YOU FUKCS

**Himiko:** it was… before his time. a true tragedy… 

**Tenko:** Okay, maybe I’m a LITTLE sympathetic. Not even degenerate males deserve to die, even if they are the worst

**Miu:** lmao cuckichi was def a degenerate 110%

**Shuichi:** It’s so hard to believe

**Angie:** All we can do now is pray for his immortal soul

**Kokichi:** sHuIcHi I tHoUgHt yOu ToLeRaTeD mE

**Korekiyo:** If you continue to speak ill of the dead, we may find ourselves under a curse.

**Kokichi:** i came here to have a good time but honestly im just feeling so attacked rn

**Kaito:** Let’s not get cursed you guys

**Miu:** i’ll fuckin fight a ghost let’s gO

**Kokichi:** i will absolutely curse all of you dont test me

**Kirumi** : Remember to wear black today to mourn his passing.

**Rantaro:** doesn’t half of our class already wear black

**Kaede:** I’m not sure if I have any black clothes.

**Tsumugi:** ur such a sunshine child

**Kaede:** Wait nvm I have concert black clothes I’ll wear those.

**Kokichi:** i cant belivev yuo guys are actuvlly waering black clothes gOD

**Kokichi:** this class is full of emos

**K1-B0:** Is it just me or is today much quieter than normal?

**Shuichi:** Maybe it’s just quieter compared to yesterday?

**Miu:** or it’s bc the loudest little shit in our school Actually Fuckin Died

**Maki:** It’s too quiet

**Himiko:** it’s easier to sleep… 

**Kokichi:** im staying in my room all day I can tell when im not fbucking wANTED

**Kokichi:** but thats a lie i wont stand for being ignored like this

**Kokichi:** atua sUCKS EXDEEEEE

**Angie:** Even if you are just trying to get a reaction, you shouldn’t insult Atua

**Rantaro:** angie no

**Tsumugi:** don’t give him attention it’s what he wants!!!!!

**Kokichi:** ANGIE YES

**Miu:** AHAHAHAHA pay tf uP guac boy I tOLD YOU

**Kokichi:** omg am i rlly that predictable i need to step up my game

**K1-B0:** Please don’t.

**Kaito:** KEEBO NO NOT YOU TOO

**Miu:** HAH

**Miu:** get out ur wallet mr marsbars bc this gorgeous girl genius is gonna be rOLLIN in dough

**Kokichi:** wow kaito i cant believe you made a bet with miu and lost thats so unexpected

**Kaito:** SHUT IT

**Miu:** fuck

**Maki:** Now Miu owes me money

**Kaito:** SERIOUSLY?

**Maki:** I’m sorry Kaito but you’re not the smartest sometimes

**Shuichi:** How many bets did everybody make over this?

**Ryoma:** clearly not enough.

**Kaede:** This is a trainwreck.

**Tenko:** It was funny while it lasted

**Kokichi:** its hilarious

**Kokichi:** also im returning everything i stole now

**Kokichi:** smugi ur scissors are on the table in the common room

**Tsumugi:** omg thank

**Tsumugi:** but don’t ever touch them again or I’ll stab you

**Kokichi:** noted

**Kokichi:** also shuichi the fingerprinting things from the crime lab are there too

**Shuichi:** Why not just return them yourself?

**Kokichi** : bc everytime i run into kyoko i end up trying to outsmart her and it only sometimes works

**K1-B0:** That’s strangely honest coming from you.

**Kokichi:** yeah well shes already mad at me so im taking zero chances

**Rantaro:** TIL that even Kokichi has a sense of self preservation

**Kokichi:** no shit sherlock

**Rantaro:** I thought Shuichi was the detective

**Kokichi:** no shit you expired chunk of hipster fuel

**Kokichi:** oh also ill return the coin thing i took from the history lab

**Korekiyo:** You what?

**Kokichi:**

**Miu:** lmaooo get fUCKED ya runt

**K1-B0:** How did you send a blank message?

**Kokichi:** that was a lie

**Korekiyo:** Likely story.

**Maki:** I don’t think I’ve ever met somebody who’s this good at digging their own grave

**Kokichi:** i thought you already realized those were missing ahaha

**Korekiyo:** Return them as soon as possible.

**Kokichi:** yessiree im on it 

**Kokichi:** just gonna go ahead and shut up about the other stuff i took now bye

**Kaede:** Don’t forget that you have to help clean up your mess.


End file.
